I know how you feel..
Tonight I came home ready to blog about something different..something to lighten up the mood. I was thinking about how excited I am for the upcoming Spaghetti Feed my friends and family are throwing for me in Hurley, WI in one week-that I WILL be able to attend..I was thinking about posting some blah updates on how I’m handling these boob expanders and my power port, I was even thinking about how much time pinterest takes up when I get in the mood to be crafty…but then I logged into facebook tonight and heard the worst news in the world.
It began when I started blogging
I started blogging and “being me” when I found out I had breast cancer. Writing the way I speak, I guess people started to love and be inspired by my strength and rawness. I’m real and I lay it all out for anyone, I don’t care. I didn’t understand that people were becoming inspired by me and my blogs, videos, etc. But, I’m hearing it non-stop now. This is what my main goal is in my cancer journey. To spread the awareness I was NOT aware of. One of my closest friends and I were talking about how much bullshit it is that mammograms are pretty much free in some states and how insurance pays for them no problem if you are over 45. Listen to me-I would have been dead if I waited that long. Also…why the SHIT does breast cancer seam to solely revolve around Goddamn lumps. I totally get that that is the majority…but WE ARE NOT ALL THE MAJORITY. I will be pushing this forward for the rest of my life. After I am cured and healed and a cancer survivor, my goal in life is to turn Viva la Cure into a non-profit organization and go around creating awareness…but also by raising money for people that have to deal with this. Just like people in my shoes. I want to be able to be like, “Hey Whitney, It totally blows you are 32 and dealing with cancer. I would love to donate $500 from Viva la Cure to help you and your family out…” along those lines. This is a passion in me..burning hotter than ever now. I need to help people. I cannot say it enough how “Early detection is the best protection”. We need to get our daughters in on this…yes, our TWELVE year olds! When they are just starting to grow to constantly be *AWARE* of how their bodies FEEL!!! NO, DAMNIT it is not gross…it will save their life.
See how I go on these rants…well people are somehow liking this and this is how the 6 degrees of separation started…
When my family became well aware of my situation, it was like people started coming out of the wood work who had cancer, are battling it now or knew someone. One person who has stuck out to me from the get-go, is an incredibly strong and self-less man named Justin Fitch. Justin has been a VLC (yeah, I’m starting to shorten Viva la Cure up..lol) supporter since day one. He right off the bat started saying how much of an inspiration I AM! Justin and I got to talking and I started to learn his story. Justin was diagnosed with Colon Cancer last May. A tumor grew in his lower intestine and he ignored the pain for 5 months and did not see a doctor. One day, after an adventure race, it had grown so large that it literally exploded his intestine into his abdomen. He nearly died a few times from that and the surgeries that followed. He began chemo shortly after. I told him how I couldn’t believe how shitty this must all be for him…then he told me something that has stuck in my brain ever since:
“Well Alyssa, just before I got cancer,
I met an 8 year old girl who was fighting cancer so bravely…
I figure if she can fight bravely, then I sure as hell can.
With that, and my aunt’s fierce, near-death battle
that she won to inspire me… it hasn’t been as hard as I had imagined”
Justin went to what he thought would be the best day of his life at the oncologist, she told him after some testing..that he is now cancer-free and in remission. Immediately when he came home, he made a youtube video and posted it asap. I want you to watch it as this man is so happy and celebratory that he even went to pass along my journey across the country..and was wearing a VLC shirt:
I just couldn’t believe with my eyes that he went out of his way, to be so humble as to help me and spread the word as he was just ending his battle!
Justin is not only a kick ass cancer fighter, he has also served in the US Military, graduated from the college leading in technology, engineering, and scientific degree programs, and leading research university-Michigan Tech, but he also has a loving wife sharing all of his humungous battles with. Justin, I’m sure you excel in anything you put your mind to.
Friends, tonight Justin had to go back to the hospital for further surgery. A couple hours ago, his doctor told him that the cancer had spread to his abdominal wall. This and other things makes it stage four cancer, the worst kind. The doctor hesitantly then told him -it is not likely that he will beat the cancer and survive.
Now I know how you guy must feel when I am trying to wrap my head around everyone sending me prayers and so much more. Even tho my breast cancer is cOmPlEtElY different than what Justin is going through…I get it. I’ve never even met the guy, but his spirit is contagious and I feel as if I really do know him.
I love him as if he were my real brother. I’ve only “known” him for a couple months but “knowing” someone or KNOWING someone doesn’t matter. You feel it in your heart and that is the same feeling no matter where you are. I am devastated by this news. I want to do something. I want to help. I want to do everything and plus in my power to help Justin and his wife Samantha through this process. I want to fly out there and hold their hands while having a beer with them. Ugh…I feel so
this is how all of you must feel. But speaking from experience…feeling helpless toward someone does not help that person. Telling them that does not either. What does help them is telling them how much more fight they do have in them. Because honestly, we don’t feel we do. When others “see” we do, it charges us up…maybe not physically..but in the soul and that’s the most important part that has to survive and stay strong.
I wrote this to him tonight on his Facebook..I really hope it sets in him, because it is the truth:
“This is so hard to read, Justin. You ARE a fighter. Your spirit is unlike I have ever seen before. Do not bond yourself to those words the doctor has told you. Go beyond that and channel the inner strongest soldiers in your body to come out and take charge. I KNOW it’s in you, Justin. It’s there. You will be the one we will be talking about at how insane of a fight Justin Fitch put up and WON. You will give others incredible strength in your journey and THEy will put in gear THEir strongest soldiers to fight. Even when your body *feels* physically weak, your soul and mind are not. We are here to help you through this. Please lean on us. Please let it all out. We are here to hold you up high”
Let’s all take a moment to pray for Justin, his wife and his family and friends. Pray for acceptance. Pray that after acceptance sits in, a strong plan of attack will be in place. Pray for strength to win his battle. Pray for a clear picture for him and his team of doctors. Pray for peace. Pray for him and his wife to be able to sleep through the night. Pray that they both will live well into their 90′s together in this life. Even if you don’t pray, please think positive for him. Imagine him as he sleeps tonight and every night- surrounded by the most loving, nurturing and healing light. As his body is being charged by the white light and the silver band connecting him to this earth is growing stronger. Think positive for him.
“Viva la Cure for Justin” Long Live a Cure for you, Justin. You got this
Guys, Justin has also been documenting his own journey on youtube. Visit his channel here. His channel is full of him being him, just like my youtube channel Will created a community forum on Viva la Cure for everyone to talk about cancer. To share their stories, treatments, relationships, or just plain venting…Justin shared all of his cancer videos in there for everyone. I encourage you all to click here to view them.
Justin, we are ALL here for you. Not just you but your beautiful wife, Samantha and your entire family. Worrying will never change the outcome. Just breathe. Do not let your mind bully your body.