I know how you feel..
Tonight I came home ready to blog about something different..something to lighten up the mood. I was thinking about how excited I am for the upcoming Spaghetti Feed my friends and family are throwing for me in Hurley, WI in one week-that I WILL be able to attend..I was thinking about posting some blah updates on how I’m handling these boob expanders and my power port, I was even thinking about how much time pinterest takes up when I get in the mood to be crafty…but then I logged into facebook tonight and heard the worst news in the world.
It began when I started blogging
I started blogging and “being me” when I found out I had breast cancer. Writing the way I speak, I guess people started to love and be inspired by my strength and rawness. I’m real and I lay it all out for anyone, I don’t care. I didn’t understand that people were becoming inspired by me and my blogs, videos, etc. But, I’m hearing it non-stop now. This is what my main goal is in my cancer journey. To spread the awareness I was NOT aware of. One of my closest friends and I were talking about how much bullshit it is that mammograms are pretty much free in some states and how insurance pays for them no problem if you are over 45. Listen to me-I would have been dead if I waited that long. Also…why the SHIT does breast cancer seam to solely revolve around Goddamn lumps. I totally get that that is the majority…but WE ARE NOT ALL THE MAJORITY. I will be pushing this forward for the rest of my life. After I am cured and healed and a cancer survivor, my goal in life is to turn Viva la Cure into a non-profit organization and go around creating awareness…but also by raising money for people that have to deal with this. Just like people in my shoes. I want to be able to be like, “Hey Whitney, It totally blows you are 32 and dealing with cancer. I would love to donate $500 from Viva la Cure to help you and your family out…” along those lines. This is a passion in me..burning hotter than ever now. I need to help people. I cannot say it enough how “Early detection is the best protection”. We need to get our daughters in on this…yes, our TWELVE year olds! When they are just starting to grow to constantly be *AWARE* of how their bodies FEEL!!! NO, DAMNIT it is not gross…it will save their life.
See how I go on these rants…well people are somehow liking this and this is how the 6 degrees of separation started…
When my family became well aware of my situation, it was like people started coming out of the wood work who had cancer, are battling it now or knew someone. One person who has stuck out to me from the get-go, is an incredibly strong and self-less man named Justin Fitch. Justin has been a VLC (yeah, I’m starting to shorten Viva la Cure up..lol) supporter since day one. He right off the bat started saying how much of an inspiration I AM! Justin and I got to talking and I started to learn his story. Justin was diagnosed with Colon Cancer last May. A tumor grew in his lower intestine and he ignored the pain for 5 months and did not see a doctor. One day, after an adventure race, it had grown so large that it literally exploded his intestine into his abdomen. He nearly died a few times from that and the surgeries that followed. He began chemo shortly after. I told him how I couldn’t believe how shitty this must all be for him…then he told me something that has stuck in my brain ever since:
“Well Alyssa, just before I got cancer,
I met an 8 year old girl who was fighting cancer so bravely…
I figure if she can fight bravely, then I sure as hell can.
With that, and my aunt’s fierce, near-death battle
that she won to inspire me… it hasn’t been as hard as I had imagined”
Justin went to what he thought would be the best day of his life at the oncologist, she told him after some testing..that he is now cancer-free and in remission. Immediately when he came home, he made a youtube video and posted it asap. I want you to watch it as this man is so happy and celebratory that he even went to pass along my journey across the country..and was wearing a VLC shirt:
I just couldn’t believe with my eyes that he went out of his way, to be so humble as to help me and spread the word as he was just ending his battle!
Justin is not only a kick ass cancer fighter, he has also served in the US Military, graduated from the college leading in technology, engineering, and scientific degree programs, and leading research university-Michigan Tech, but he also has a loving wife sharing all of his humungous battles with. Justin, I’m sure you excel in anything you put your mind to.
Friends, tonight Justin had to go back to the hospital for further surgery. A couple hours ago, his doctor told him that the cancer had spread to his abdominal wall. This and other things makes it stage four cancer, the worst kind. The doctor hesitantly then told him -it is not likely that he will beat the cancer and survive.
Now I know how you guy must feel when I am trying to wrap my head around everyone sending me prayers and so much more. Even tho my breast cancer is cOmPlEtElY different than what Justin is going through…I get it. I’ve never even met the guy, but his spirit is contagious and I feel as if I really do know him.
I love him as if he were my real brother. I’ve only “known” him for a couple months but “knowing” someone or KNOWING someone doesn’t matter. You feel it in your heart and that is the same feeling no matter where you are. I am devastated by this news. I want to do something. I want to help. I want to do everything and plus in my power to help Justin and his wife Samantha through this process. I want to fly out there and hold their hands while having a beer with them. Ugh…I feel so
helpless
this is how all of you must feel. But speaking from experience…feeling helpless toward someone does not help that person. Telling them that does not either. What does help them is telling them how much more fight they do have in them. Because honestly, we don’t feel we do. When others “see” we do, it charges us up…maybe not physically..but in the soul and that’s the most important part that has to survive and stay strong.
encouragement
I wrote this to him tonight on his Facebook..I really hope it sets in him, because it is the truth:
“This is so hard to read, Justin. You ARE a fighter. Your spirit is unlike I have ever seen before. Do not bond yourself to those words the doctor has told you. Go beyond that and channel the inner strongest soldiers in your body to come out and take charge. I KNOW it’s in you, Justin. It’s there. You will be the one we will be talking about at how insane of a fight Justin Fitch put up and WON. You will give others incredible strength in your journey and THEy will put in gear THEir strongest soldiers to fight. Even when your body *feels* physically weak, your soul and mind are not. We are here to help you through this. Please lean on us. Please let it all out. We are here to hold you up high”
Let’s all take a moment to pray for Justin, his wife and his family and friends. Pray for acceptance. Pray that after acceptance sits in, a strong plan of attack will be in place. Pray for strength to win his battle. Pray for a clear picture for him and his team of doctors. Pray for peace. Pray for him and his wife to be able to sleep through the night. Pray that they both will live well into their 90′s together in this life. Even if you don’t pray, please think positive for him. Imagine him as he sleeps tonight and every night- surrounded by the most loving, nurturing and healing light. As his body is being charged by the white light and the silver band connecting him to this earth is growing stronger. Think positive for him.
“Viva la Cure for Justin” Long Live a Cure for you, Justin. You got this
Guys, Justin has also been documenting his own journey on youtube. Visit his channel here. His channel is full of him being him, just like my youtube channel 
Will created a community forum on Viva la Cure for everyone to talk about cancer. To share their stories, treatments, relationships, or just plain venting…Justin shared all of his cancer videos in there for everyone. I encourage you all to click here to view them.
Justin, we are ALL here for you. Not just you but your beautiful wife, Samantha and your entire family. Worrying will never change the outcome. Just breathe. Do not let your mind bully your body.
22 Responses to “I know how you feel..”
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you are speaking for so many, such a spirit is given to the one’s that have the scars of cancer in their life. A force so strong in them that speaks volumes that they will viva la cure. thank you for sharing Justin’s story, he will be in my prayers.
Powerful, powerful, powerful!
I feel like I could move a mountain right now.
And YES, Justin will be in my dreams as we are ALL holding him up in the healing light. As we are holding you up, too, Alyssa.
You can’t tell me the power of love and light and God doesn’t move mountains… I know better.
I also believe in miracles.
You said it so perfectly. When we are at our darkest there is always abright light somewhere to lead us on the right path to a new day. Thank you.
You said it! The most powerful healer is the God within. Justin you got this!! M
I am as devastated to hear this as you…..I too, watched Justin’s amazing youtube video. I am saddened by this horrible news and I am going to bed right now and going to pray my heart out!!!! God Bless you, Alyssa for all you do, while fighting your own battle as well. God will reward you both with great blessings. Fight on, Justin and Alyssa!!!!!!
Alyssa, With all the love in my heart. Thank you for being you. I have followed you for over a year with my brothers fight, and I will always keep you in my hearts and prayers. You two have been the greatest spirit team I have even seen.
I have known Justin for over 10 years now… and I have to say for someone who has never met him.. you hit the nail on the head. He is an amazing person and a great friend. Thank you for posting this on your site and thank you for your prayers. I think why people say you inspire them is that you are humble and giving when you yourself are in need to so much.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you as well. The world needs more people like you in it!
I too have to say that is very Powerful and touches me so very deeply I too believe in Miracles.. I will be praying for Justinas I am praying for Alyssa as I have followed her entire Journey as I do several others as I believe God is the greatest Physician and Prayer our greatest Medicine I pray for a CURE!!!! Every time I pray I ask this… you both are so amazing to me and inspirational “KEEP FIGHTING” WITH LOVE FROM FRANCES IN SOMERSET KENTUCKY <3
Wow! I was so heart broken to hear of Justin’s cancer news. I do not know him but shared in his excitement as he finally kicked its ass. I have lost four incredible people in my life from effing cancer! Cancer sucks and it pisses me off that there is no cure yet!!!!
Alyssa I can not believe how old u r for your years. U r an inspiration to me and to many. I will continue to pray for u but will now include Justin in my prayers.
What u r doing is so great!!!
I could not sleep tonight.
I got up, came downstairs, and flipped open my laptop.
And I check in on your fight with cancer.
I pray for you all the time. I tell people about you all the time. I wonder what you are doing RIGHT NOW all the time.
You don’t even know me. How can I possibly help you?
With my little prayers?
With my mental “wrap her in healing light” thoughts?
With my “KICK IT’S ASSSSSSS” cheerleading?
Maybe.
But I do believe we are all much more powerful than we give ourselves credit for. Much more. Our souls are some crazy powerful stuff!! Much stronger than mere bones and blood. We are pure ENERGY and light and brighter than a million suns. You have a whole UNIVERSE of suns … inside of YOU. Burning bright.
Mighty .. powerful … brilliant …
My mind can’t stop thinking.
I am addicted to reading about past lives right now and I can’t get enough. I hope I have lived many times.
And it BLOWS .. MY .. MIND.
How fascinating. The thought that we live hundreds (or thousands?) of lives. Over and over. We love, we die, hundreds (thousands?)of times, over and over.
The same cast of loved ones playing parts in our lives. Over and over.
But the biggest surprise?
Reading about the healing power of Past Life Regressions where you remember the ‘life between lives’ (Heaven?)and discovering that all along we have a host of loved ones and guides and angels that watch over us and come to us when we are weak, sad, broken, frightened.
And …even if we do not feel it then… they wrap their love around us and fill us with healing light.
They pour strength back into us.
They lift us up.
They whisper in our ear “get up, I am here to dance with you, to fill your heart with song, to carry you along, but you have to .. GET UP!!!”
That anger? It’s love saying “I am strong!”
Tears? It’s love saying “I am mighty!”
Fear? It’s love saying “I can KICK ASSSSSS!”
Pain? It’s love saying “I am ALIVE!”
Fight on Mighty Warrior!!
Who knows, you may have been Joan of Arc in a past life and she is . . still . . kicking . . ass!
Love and light to you, and Justin, and all the warriors out there. Rock on.
Ramona, this is beautiful.
Mom …. LOVE is beautiful ♥
This is truely another reason we love you Alyssa your amazing ans so encouraging to others . Justin you listen to her she is so right and you will see your mind is stronger than you think . Praying for you and your family . Again Alyssa POWERFULL XXOO and yes you have it so right on how we all feel about you .Love ya my sister in the lord
THANK YOU. As one of Justin’s close Army buddies, this news hit us hard. He is like a brother to me and my wife and I consider him and Sam family. We’re grateful he has you in his corner and someone to lean on that knows what he is going through. My mom is a breast cancer survivor, and I never doubted her survival for a second. I feel the same about Justin. If anyone can beat this, it’s him. God bless you.
Alyssa-this truly is a club that people really don’t want to join, but if they do, the bond with other members is like family. I love how you said encouragement from others spurs us to fight on when we don’t feel it, but our soul is charged up to survive and stay strong. I have always appreciated the medical experts and all their wisdom, but when I had stage 4 Osteo-sarcoma, the fight for life went beyond the experts. The fight was on, but I was too weak to do it. Prayer and encouragement got me through. Justin is in my heart and prayers, as is his family. Thanks for sharing his story. <3
A wonderful touching tribute to Justin’s fight. Prayer DOES work, and you are both surrounded by hundreds of loving prayer warriors. I am a two time cancer survivor and grateful for all the bonus days I have been given. I just wanted to share that I have known two friends who were told they were in the last months of their lives. One lived 13 years and died from something unrelated to lung cancer. The other got into a experimental study and that was fifteen years ago. He has continued to live a quality life. The doctors should never underestimate a person’s will to live nor do they fully recognize the impact of the power of prayer. Only God knows our future, and we are all praying that his healing hand is on you both. God Bless you for all the good you are doing in the fight against cancer.
WOW!! Alyssa you are one strong woman! You are such a great person to share all of this with us. We will also put Justin in our thoughts and prayers. Can’t wait to see you, BJ, and the kids at the benefit. Love ya XXXOOO
As hard as it is to read Justins update,my heart sinks in sadness. Then I get really angry at flippin cancer trying to take another warrior away. Keep fightin this fight and know you are both in my prayers daily. Thank you both for letting the world in to see your strength. May God Bless You and your families. Know you are loved…
I love your writing. I love your rawness. People are put on this Earth with a purpose. I think you have found yours:) to Justin & his beautiful family- my thoughts and prayers are with you. Everyday we take life for granted, the little things. May God hold us all in his hands and watch over us:)
Lord have mercy…send your healing spirits to this man’s body…let him feel the love through his pain…let this beautiful woman’s journey show us a path of love…amen
Alyssa, you are an amazing woman!! I have not posted on your blogs yet, but have been following your story. I truly am inspired by your strength, compassion and determination; you are AWESOME!! And thanks for sharing Justin’s story; it touched me especially since my father-in-law battled a very similar situation where he had an ‘unknown to him’ tumor rupture and he battled colon cancer. I will now be closely following Justin’s story as well as yours as you both fight and win this ‘battle’! You truly are amazing girl, keep up the “rawness” and keep being you!!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you, your family, your friends, as well as with Justin, his family and his friends. May you both find your inner strength and live life to the fullest!!
I remember watching his video about remission. Justin is strong and amazing, I don’t know him, I read him here and watched him there. I prayed for him and you and HOPE that all the pain and struggle eases and the fight will be won. You are both warriors and I am glad you found each other. Keep up the fight Justin! People all over the world are sending you love, this message came all the way from Scotland.